Over the years forgiveness has been a big theme in my life. Forgiving myself and people I love. Over and over again. I heard a quote once that basically says holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. Read that again. Wow.

Staying upset with someone is negative and negative energy is toxic. We know that. I know that. Still it’s really hard to forgive someone that hurt you, knowingly and without an apology sometimes. For me, most times.  Really hard. So how do we get it done?

Here’s what I know…

  1. It’s usually (and by usually I really mean always) not about you. How someone treats you is about them. We spend so much energy wondering why the person we love would hurt us. What did we do? That holds us up on forgiving. It’s not about you. It’s about them.  Happy people don’t cause pain. Something is broken. Forgive them because they must be hurting too. Then walk away. 
  2. Forgive yourself. You have made mistakes. Maybe really gigantic ones that caused pain to people you adore. Are you sorry? Have you learned from those mistakes? Have you done better since then? Have you healed? Have you apologized? If yes, then forgive yourself.  When we are right with ourselves, when we can make peace inside ourselves, forgiveness for others is more accessible. 
  3. Forgiving is not forgetting. Forgiving is not accepting. Forgiving is not saying what hurt you is ok. It doesn’t mean things go back to the way they were. Maybe you never speak again. Whatever feels right. Forgiving is acknowledging what hurt you and then putting it down. It’s laying down your disappointment, your anger, your pain and walking away from it. It’s not allowing it to keep hurting. It’s for you. It’s not swallowing the poison. 
  4. Lastly, you did not deserve it. Period. I don’t care what you did over the years leading up to this, it doesn’t matter. You deserve to be loved and respected. You deserve honesty and loyalty. You deserve to be trusted and forgiven. When you believe this you will be able to forgive.

The work to forgive someone else is all about the work to love ourselves. Forgiveness is for you. It’s for your own peace. It’s self care. Love yourself enough to forgive whoever broke your heart.  Don’t drink the poison. Have a glass of wine instead.

Some days…

Some days I am strong.
Some days I’ve got this, all of it. Moming, working. I’m fun and happy, mindful thoughtful. I’m smiley. I laugh. I dance and sing. And some days…..I disappoint the ones I love most. I forget. I think too much. I plan too hard. I feel bad. I feel sad. I am overwhelmed.
Some days, even though I try my hardest, my brain focuses on what I am not, what I don’t have and what I desperately want, but don’t know how to get. I feel like a failure, like I am not good enough. I feel sorry for what I can’t give and for what I can’t do.
Some days, without even trying, I am confident. I am sure of myself and only see the best in myself. I am able to laugh through the downs as well as the ups and achieve the goals I set for myself. I cross items off my to do list (the one in my head of course because there are no days that I am a list maker😉) and I feel unstoppable.
Every day I am strong. Every day I love the best way I know how. Every day I am grateful for the opportunity to try again. I am thankful for the constant love and support in my life. I am passionate about my work. I am madly in love with my children and proud to be their mom.
When I come to my mat these two people meet. The confident, ass kicking, business owner, mother of 3 gently hugs the scared, lonely divorcee. The strong, independent, badass friend kindly encourages the exhausted working mother that can’t figure out what comes next. One thanks the other for the parts they need to survive. One cannot exist without the other. And as much as I dislike the times when the insecure Jackie spends the day I appreciate her and what she means to me. I need her too. She points out exactly what the strong, fearless Jackie needs to work on.
In the last 5 years my life has completely changed. It changed in ways I never thought were possible, in ways I was not prepared for and in ways I saw coming, but didn’t understand until they came. It changed in ways I don’t get at all and probably never will. I think it’s time I shared what I’ve been through, what I’ve learned and how I make it through the days that are extra hard, kinda hard and even the easy ones. I haven’t done it alone. It hasn’t been easy. I’m not finished yet. I’m ready to share the good, the crap and the tools I’ve found. Recently someone told me that they do the work they do, not for money, but because they need to be of service to others. If my special kind of crazy can help another struggling mom get through the day then it is something I have to do. We are all in this together. “Sometimes we fall down because there is something down there we are supposed to find” I think this work has been down there waiting for me to pick it up….here goes.

Welcome to Be. Yoga

Thank you for visiting our new blog! Here we will be posting about our classes, workshops, and information on how Yoga can benefit your mind, body and soul.

We are located at 1250 Sussex Turnpike in Randolph, NJ and would love for you to stop by!


Jackie Levitan